Kiss Me Hard Before You Go
by NeonLuna
Summary: Dan and Phil have a regular flat and regular friends and generally a regular life. They're happy being aspiring YouTuber's but that doesn't explain why Phil's been acting weird, like he's less-than-happy than to live an oh-so-regular life with Dan. Dan is trying his hardest to cheer up Phil but perhaps it's just not enough anymore.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note; Welcome to my new Fanfic! It's all about the future with this one and to my greatest dismay, I do not own Dan, nor do I own Phil :( Hope you enjoy! **

We're both sat on the settee, laptops burning into our legs, T.v blaring out crap. I look to Phil beside me, only to see him staring back. We adopt the same expressions, as if we've forgotten something really important. We both open our mouths as if to say something but close them again, apprehensive. I blink rapidly, trying to jog my memory. "There is something," Phil wonders out-loud. I nod in agreement. We've definitely forgotten something. That's when the door opens and it turns out we invited Chris and Pj round like last week and totally forgot about it.

We welcome them in all the same. "I'm sorry, totally forgot-" I gush, trying to tidy. The flat is a mess. "It's fine!" Pj consoles, putting an arm on my shoulder. ",Have you been to Chris' flat recently?" We all laugh and I feel a bit better about the shit-hole I live in. Me and Phil share a guilty look. "Takeout?" I offer. The boys agree and Chris rings the pizza place down the street. Instead of eating at the table, we all assume our general positions on the settees. I'm next to Phil, a small space between us and Pj and Chris are together on the slightly smaller couch. There's no way I'm getting up to receive the pizza.

After about five minutes of persuasion, Phil submits into getting the pizza, calling us lazy under his breath, but be's still smiling. That's why I like Phil so much. Whatever the situation or the circumstances, he'll smile and be happy about it. If it's internet hate he'll make a joke out of it and keep his cool, or even if it's jibes in the street. I smile gratefully at him when he returns, laden with pizza boxes. He's not smiling like usual though, nor does he smile throughout the rest of the night. I think he's trying pretty hard to disguise it. Well, he does smile when we've had a few too many Sambuka's later on in the night. Totally not my idea at all. Chris and Pj crash on the couch in their clothes, leaving me and Phil to return to our beds, only to wake up to a terrible headache the following morning.

"Morning," I groan at the sleeping boys on the couches. They roll to face me, covering their eyes from the artificial light that fills the room. Pj mmmmmm's me and Chris just rolls back, completely covering his face with the quilt. Phil's already bustling around the kitchen, banging into things and opening all the cupboard doors. He looks round, as if he's searching for something. I walk over cautiously. "Phil?" I question. He walks right into me. He straightens up, still a good inch shorter than me. He laughs apologetically, rubbing his eyes. "Sorry, but have you seen my contacts?" I think back to last night. I don't remember him taking them out at all before he went to bed. Then again, I don't remember much from last night. "They're in the bath, don't ask," Pj mumbles from under his blanket in the livingroom. I laugh out load, why on earth are they in the bath? Phil looks at me quizzically but I have no idea why they're there. He leaves the room to go rescue his sight before they go down the drain. As soon as he's left the room and out of ear-shot, Chris calls me over to him on the couch. I sit on the floor, crossing my legs, beneath him. "Have you noticed," Chris begins but I stop him abruptly. I have noticed that when we're not looking his smile falters, or that when we're not paying attention, his eyes look kind of lost and panic-stricken. Phil hasn't been right for at least a week, not smiling as much or laughing or even participating as much. "Yeah," I conquer. "I've noticed alright." Chris nods, happy the responsibility is not on him any longer. I pat his head comically in an attempt to get him to 'look alive.' He makes a noise of disgust and turns away from me, snuggling back into the sofa. I laugh at my feeble attempt and go back to my room with a cup of coffee and my laptop. I open the door and place my laptop on my bed. "Phil?" I call. He wanders in, blinking to place his contacts correctly. "Do you wanna do something this weekend? Like just me and you? I don't know we could just go to the cinema or something, whatever you want." Phil swallows nervously before ridding his face of all negative emotion. He smiles at me, stifling a yawn. "Yeah, sounds good," He chirps. He walks in and squeezes my forearm. He turns to leave but hesitates. "You do know it's Sunday, Dan?" I face-palm as Phil walks back into the living-room, laughing to himself. Well done, Dan. Real smooth.

I look online for movies that are on at the cinema, slumped in the internet position on my bed. I like the sound of a few but I'll ask Phil later. I sip my coffee out of a hello kitty mug, nearly spilling it on my precious laptop when the coffee spits out ferociously. I ponder what to do about Phil acting strange, giving no thought as to why he's being funny. This week I decide I'm going to take Phil out, I'm going to clean, yes clean, the apartment and I'm defiantly going to find what's wrong with my best friend.

**P.s Hope you enjoyed chapter one! Please let me know if you like it in the reviews:) Seeya soon, -NeonLuna **


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note; Handling three stories is surprisingly hard . Hope you enjoy chapter 2! **

"C'mon, just pick one!" I moan at Phil. We've been differing in agreement against films for the past hour or so, sat in our local Starbucks. I sip my mocha- hot chocolate, eyeing him narkily. Phil pouts, warming his hands on his hot-chocolate. "Okay, this one," He gives in to our first choice and I finally click on the title to view the times. He sips his drink and I can still feel his eyes trained on me. "How about tomorrow, 6:30?" I offer. Phil consents and I drain the last dregs from my drink. I return my phone to my pocket, fully aware that Phil is still starting at me. Without looking up I speak. "Quite looking at me so intensely," I comment coolly. He looks away, a fine blush spreading in his pale cheeks. I look at him and, to diffuse the tension, I stick my tongue out. Phil looks down and smiles. I still don't know what's quite going on with him.

We're walking through London town aimlessly, kinda bored. We visit a few of the regular shops but then make our way back to the apartment. It's cold outside and I hate feeling shivery. We walk side by side, closer than usual as it's cold. I guess this is a perk to me. Not too sure it is to Phil though because he looks morbid by my side. I sidle even closer and he grimaces. I stop in my tracks. We are quite close to the apartment but I'm pretty worried about how Phil is acting towards me. And by worried, I mean pissed off. Phil stops too and a few people give us weird looks. What's so wrong with stopping in the middle of a busy street? Jeez. "Well?" I question. "Why are you acting like this, Phil?" My tone is accusing and I feel like a total bitch doing this in the street but It's bugging me now. Phil sighs and grabs my arm, giving me no choice but to follow him inside.

I turn on the heating as soon as I get inside. I walk past Phil, obtaining no eye-contact. I go into the kitchen, putting on the kettle for a cup of tea. I get out one cup pointedly. Phil walks into the room and leans against the door frame, resting his head in the crook of his arm. "Dan, don't be angry," Phil starts but I cut him off by slamming down my mug on the kitchen surface. I spin round to face him. "How can I possibly not be angry? I'm sorry Phil but this past week you've been acting, well , different. And to make it worse, you won't even tell me why!" I'm not shouting, nor am I angry. But you can sense the hurt in my tone. I turn back round as I can feel an oncoming round of tears threatening to fall. Phil walks closer to me, I can feel his presence close. "Dan," He whispers softly, ",I'm sorry. I've just, my heads been, uh, racing. I'm right now, I promise." I turn around, my head down. I feel bad now for exploding on him. I look up through my eyelashes at my best friend. His black hair slightly wavy from the drizzle and his eyes bluer than ever. "Yeah, I'm sorry too," My voice is false. I'm not sorry and he's not 'right.' I can see it in him, his expression, his mannerisms. I mean, c'mon, I've been close with this guy for, what? Five years. I can read him like an open book. And it's a pretty good book. I blush at the thought, turning away from him to hide the hotness in my cheeks. "Buffy marathon?" Phil offers. I nod, taking out another cup for him.

**P.s Sorry it's a little short! Half-term just finished so I'm back at school *sobs violently* Thank-you to ElzyPhangirl and NeverlandNat for reviewing! :) -NeonLuna**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's note; Whoo! I got reviews! I didn't think this story was gonna cut it, yay:D Enjoy!**

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I lay low throughout the week, not letting Phil know that something was wrong. We caught that movie and it would have been great, if Phil hadn't have fallen asleep. Although, he does look pretty cute snoozing. I nudged him throughout but he slept like a baby. If babies snore that is. It's been five days since my little bitchburst. I argue with Phil little and far in-between so he keeps giving me these weird little glances. "I'm not a grenade," I tell him. ",I'm not gonna start shouting again." He blinks rapidly, a deer in the headlights. He smiles at me and looks back down at his laptop. He's spending more and more time on it, away from me. I edge over to him, ninja style, and peer over his shoulder. He quickly snaps the lid shut before I get to see what he's browsing. I look at him, astonished. We never have secrets when it comes to the internet. "What?" He says, his voice high with worry. I look right into his eyes, searching for something. I see it straight away. Guilt. I narrow my eyes and move away from him. He begins to stutter, probably an excuse, but I save him the trouble by walking out.

It's so freaking cold outside. I mean, it's minus. And being the doosh I am, I forgot to get my caught. I was angry, okay? I made sure I had my phone though. I retrieve it from my skinnies, deciding to text Chris, see if I can stay over.

_Hey Chris. You were right, something is up with Phil and I'm tired of waiting around for an answer. Can I stay at yours for the night? Dan_

I carry on walking towards the tube, wondering when the train time is. I'm nearly there when Chris messages me back.

_Hi Dan. It's a bit awkward, I have company. If you're willing to be a good boy and stay in the spare room, suuureee you can come. Chris. _

I roll my eyes at his response. I do wonder what kind of 'company' Chris has. I was fully convinced we were his only friends. I'm down to the underground when my phone beeps again. Mr. Popular tonight. I save the text for when I'm on the train. It makes me look less creepy-lonely-guy.

_Dan, I'm sorry. I know I've acted strange this week. I'm just a little preoccupied right now. Come home, I have Maltesers? Phil x _

I pout. Why does he have to be so...cute? Just the text is enough to persuade me to go back, it screams of his friendship and I crave his company. I wipe my eyes, I'm already on the train, there's no going back. Plus, I don't want to chance getting angry again. I don't like the way he looks when I shout. Vulnerable, mirroring the way he looked as a kid.

_Not tonight Phil. I'll be back tomorrow. Dan x _

_P.s Don't eat the Maltesers:)_

Okay, I do feel pretty bad walking out on a strop but it is so damn infuriating watching your friend, your very best friend, in pain or suffering without even having a clue as to why. It's like a full-body paralysis, you can't help and all you do is worry like crazy for them, about them. Then you ask and they decline your help, it makes you feel worthless, like your not good enough. Observing Phil in this state is driving me mad, there's only so much I can take. I guess we'll just talk when I get home.

I arrive at Chris' house and sure enough, he has company. But it's Pj. And he made the text sound very sexual. Well, it wouldn't surprise me if they were shagging, the sexual tension around them is unbearable. I just give Pj an odd look whilst Chris leads me to my 'room.' I begin to ask but he shushes me and walks out. Tired and frustrated, I just fling myself down on the bed. I am so done. My eyelids droop and I'm in the weird half-sleep, half-awake stage before my phone rings out and shocks me so hard I jump up comically. I mutter Shakespearean insults under my breath and reach for my mobile across the bed. I groan at the caller-id. Mum. I'm feeling so wound up I actually wizz my phone across the cover and it lands with a soft thud on the bedspread. I say 'fuck off' out loud before my eye-lids droop once again and I am dragged into an unconscious state off mind. Here I come REM sleep cycle.

"Good morning Daniel!" Chris proclaims brightly. I cover my face with the quilt, exhaling heavily. "You have a visitor!" He announces, literally skipping from the room. Well, he got some last night. My face still covered I feel someone sit lightly on the end of the bed. I yawn widely, peeking over the quilt. Oh, It's only Phil. I smile at his presence but he doesn't smile back, he blinks tears. His face is a mess, he has deep bags under his eyes and he's crying, no sobbing, silently. He's literally crying a river. "Phil!" I exclaim, shuffling right up next to him. "Phil!" I say again, calmer this time. But instead of accepting my comfort, he stands up, out of my consoling arms. I'm a little hazy, I just woke up. The fuck is going on? Phil walks back slowly, backing away towards the door, crying still. I feel my face to see if something scared him. Nope, no new spots. I check I have clothes on, and yes, sure enough, I'm wearing yesterdays clothes. I stand up to attempt to touch Phil again but he opens the door quickly. "It doesn't even matter," He whispers coarsely and seeds from the room, out of the apartment, leaving me utterly clueless.

**P.s I don't even know. But thank-you to NeverlandNat, ElzyPhangirl (your review made me cry with laughter, I'm still chuckling nowxD) and TheAdelaide9 :)) Seeya soon! -NeonLuna **


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's note; I'm sorry it's late, I'm sorry it's late, I'm sorry it's late.**

I'm literally stood there, no idea of what just happened. Chris pops his head round the door, looking confused. I'm staring at a particular interesting spot of the grey carpet before I bang into action. I grab my phone, comb through my hair with my fingers and race to the door shouting a quick "Thanks for having me!" To Chris. I'm out of the door within five minutes of waking up. There's a first time for everything, right?

I finally catch up to Phil, just before he jumps into a cab. I grab his arm and he retracts slowly from the car. I wave off the cab driver, who mutters obscenities under his breath. I wrap Phil in a hug so tight, so full of compassion, he stops crying. I lean back but still hold onto him, looking into his deep blue eyes. "Tell me," I whisper softly. He sniffs up and opens his mouth to speak but once again, he bursts into tears. I slip my hand into his. Best friends do that right? I lead him back to Chris' place so we can talk, at long last.

Chris is far too busy making sexual advances on Pj too see us return. I keep firmly hold on Phil's now clammy grip and we walk right into the room I stayed over at last night. I sit solemnly on the covers, my hand permitting Phil to do the same. I look into his eyes once again. Does he keep lots of secrets from me? After all, his blue eyes are wracked with guilt. Before I even ask, Phil opens his mouth, letting me onto to what I've been craving to hear.

"Dan, you're my best friend, I love you. But all this, YouTube, the show, Chris and Pj getting it on, it's all far too much for me. You're much younger than me, you can handle it. But I'm past that now. I'm done with it all. I finally understand how you feel with your crisis. My whole life is a dead-end if I carry on what I'm doing now. I've wanted to tell you something, Dan, and I hope you can understand. I'm going. I'm leaving. I can't carry on living a lie. YouTube won't miss me, neither will the show; they've got you. I'm sorry, I'm sorry-"

His voice cracks at this point, like my head. I'm cracking up. He feels this way? I didn't know. He's always happy. I'm the morbid one, right? It's not fair! It is not fair! He's at the door before I speak.

"Don't you dare. Don't you think about opening that door." I get up off the bed and walk in front of him, blocking his path. I snake my arms around his chest and I'm hugging him like before, but this time it's fierce and I'm scared. I love him. My best friend. And I can't have him running away. I lift my head to his and whisper softly; ",We're gonna sort this out. We're gonna go home. I can't just watch you fall apart anymore. I love you, Philip Micheal Lester." I put my head even closer to his and our noses touch, both wet with tears. He closes the gap unceasingly and our lips our pressed together; salty, hungry and filled with desperation.

With that, we clasp hands and walk the way back to our flat, our futures shaky but presumably happy.

**P.s Is that an alright ending? I tried;) Is it sad? I had to vent because my mum's put on the Christmas Cd's. *shudders* I hope you enjoyed this fic! It was pretty tricky to write because I didn't really have a plot to it. Than-you all so much for following, reviewng and favoriting. It means an awful lot:) As always, with love -NeonLuna**


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